chugger
Chugger: Charity Mugger. One of those people who stands in the street with a big brightly-coloured bib and quite possibly a clipboard soliciting donations to the Feline Liberation Army or some other worthy cause.

First off - I have no problem with people informing me of their Charity and their Charity's work and then asking me to kindly donate, whether a fixed amount or a one off payment, to help them fund their cause. Charities have an important place in international society and I doff my cap to them sincerely.

It's hardly difficult to appreciate Charities.

It IS difficult to appreciate "Chuggers" - you know the ones - they seem to deliberately block your path, often attempting to link into your conversation with a friend, most likely with one of those "1, 2, 3 and…." type of phoney smiles and always with an intention of asking you to "spare a few minutes". Their Charities range from the Islamic Fundamentalist Movement to Help the Aged; everyone's bloody doing it!

What gets to me about Chuggers are their assumptions:

1) That I'm not in a manic rush to get to where I'm going;

2) That I don't mind having to pretend I'm unaware of their presence/on the phone/ in a manic rush, in order to avoid their hassles;

3) That they're allowed to bother me because it's all in the name of "Charity";

4) That they can play on other people's guilt; and

5) That I don't already give to the Charity about which they want to talk to me.

As some Confucius wannabe once said, "to assume makes an ass out of you and me" - even if you say it's for a "good cause".

And then there's the "fakeness"!

This morning - a girl asking me to donate to Meningitis Trust seemed to feel it relevant to stand there in full Minnie Mouse costume…why??? What the hell does Minnie Mouse have to do with Meningitis and helping those who suffer from it? Nout, nada, nothing! Then her friend came to my attention - painted purple! What colour do those who suffer from Meningitis turn at the worst point of their suffering...? Purple. Nice one, idiot!

The crux of it all is that a huge proportion of Chuggers are students who have done less research into the name on their "bibs" than Tony Blair did on WMDs in Iraq and they stand there simply for their £8 an hour fee from their recruitment agency - and then they have the cheek to guilt-trip, tut or insult anyone who attempts to dodge their advances!

I know they play their part in bringing in donations for Charities…I know that it's abhorrent to speak out against Charity-work…and I know that they can't be blamed for doing their jobs... but this is Room 101 - and they're f***ing annoying!!